Timing is Everything

So, lack of willpower and insatiable hunger aside, timing has become my greatest weight loss enemy.  In an attempt to eat heavier meals earlier in the day (and in theory lighter ones later), I've turned into a late-night snacker, which has never really been a problem before.  Full disclosure: these ridiculous diet pills I'm taking are co-conspirators.  Okay, here's how my day goes.

Wake up, take a diet pill.  It says it works best on an empty stomach, and to not eat anything for 30 minutes afterwards.  So I do my morning teeth face hair dress routine, and only ten minutes have gone by.  Man I'm hungry.  I'm also tired.  I guess I could fix both by napping for 20 minutes!

Wake up.  Again.  An hour later.  Dammit!  Well now I certainly don't have time to work out - got to start studying.  At least I can eat now - the caffeine explosion in my stomach sounds like my grandma's cat that was on loan from the seventh circle of hell.  And it's the first meal of the day, so it's gonna be a big one!  A nice big healthy omelette with lots of veggies ... and of course some cheese (it tastes like nothing without cheese! and salt.) ... and I should probably use that delicious tomato sauce from last night (wait - didn't the boyfriend put butter and milk in it and that's why it tasted good?  I don't remember ... but using up leftovers is totally a worthy goal - pour that deliciousness on!).  So I end up eating a 1500 calorie omelette for breakfast.  And iced coffee because it's summer!  With lots of milk and sugar!  It's the first meal of the day, it's fine ... I'll have all this burned off by lunch.

A couple of hours later and my eyes are glazed over from outlining.  I mean, I'm sure turning a page every couple of minutes while sitting near-motionless at this table for hours has really done the trick of burning those morning calories.  Brain cardio?  Anyways, time to eat!  But wait - that stupid diet pill.  If I wait until an hour or two after I eat so that I have an empty-ish stomach I won't be able to go to sleep (they have like 3000% of your yearly dose of caffeine in each).  So I should just take one now and hold out for a half hour.

After half an hour of acting like I'm doing work while I'm literally staring down my clock, watching the minute hand creep around, I tear through my fridge in a hunger rage.  Some leftovers, a few bites of ice cream while they heat up ...  I mean, it's lunch time so it's still an early meal, right?  Dang - it's already 3pm?  Well, I'll just skip dinner, and maybe I can get in a quick workout later.

Seven rolls around, and I ignore the growls.  No - I will not eat!  I ate two huge meals and burned approximately 5 calories today during my only physical activity: walking around the kitchen to cook.  Just concentrate on studying.  Maybe a workout?  Neh ...  And no - I couldn't even imagine a fake reason to insert while writing this.

Nine o'clock - ugh - no more studying.  Gonna watch a little TV.  I'm not hungry I'm not hungry I'm not hungry ...

Eleven - time for bed.  I consider swallowing my toothpaste.  I lay in bed, tired, but SOOO hungry.

Midnight - Eff it.  Leftover chicken and rice with a reheated biscuit.  Carbs, cream and carbs.  Delicious, but shameful.  Get back in bed, try to do it all differently the next day ...