Okay, that's enough of the counting - I can't possibly justify trying to backtrack the days I've missed. Anyhoo, here I am, in the present, and a fat lard to boot. I'm trying to get back into the blogs and fitness and healthy eating because yesterday I caught a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror and gagged. Yeah, it's bad. I'm sure you can see all the excuses coming, but I'll spare you. All you need to know to catch you up to today is that I've been cashing in on all the end-of-year free meals and it culminated in my thinking that the Michelin Man had broken into my bedroom yesterday, but it was just the aforementioned reflection of myself in the mirror.
So yesterday I hopped back on the bandwagon, hoping that this time I can keep it together with enough perseverance and intensity to maybe be able to enjoy at least one month out at the pool in a bathing suit this summer. I can't believe "bathing suit" is a dirty word now - when did that happen? Ugh - I feel so old. I should just give up now and resign myself to being one of those old leathery cows washed up on a reclining chair on Daytona Beach, straining to slather oil on the back of my gigantic fat arms and barely able to lift up one ass cheek to pick a wedgie from my leopard print one-piece bathing suit (complete with attached skirt). It's that or never go to the beach again, and the latter is out of the question. Optimism ahoy!
Seriously, yesterday I went shopping and cooked for the week - pea and asparagus soup, coq au vin, ground turkey chilaquiles, and salads. This morning I went for a run (okay, mostly a walk, but there was running involved) and did some pathetic dumbbell exercises. Please God let this keep my arms from reaching a twenty-inch circumference.
As you might be able to tell, I'm in a bit of a funk. I had a few suspicions about why, and I think they are partly to blame, but as I came back into school and sat down at my desk to write this, I think the big reason came to me: school is over. No more classes. Just a few papers, a final, and that's it. And the problem with that is that law school is what I'm good at. I hope I'll be good at whatever I do after this, but it's always a little bit scary to leave something you're comfortable with. I came in to the office and looked at all the empty desks. All the 3Ls had probably reveled in clearing out their spaces. But my desk is full - books, binders, Westlaw printouts, coffee mug, gym equipment and a spare set of flip flops hanging out underneath. Am I just being reluctant, or am I in a full blown state of denial?
Whichever it is, time to get over it and man up. I hear my dad's voice again: "WALK IT OFF!" As usual, he's right. Time to bang this thing out and move on to something bigger and better, whatever it is. And if I fail miserably, may I have stuck with the health kick and become hot!
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